it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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