Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
