Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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