no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
