Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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