remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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