Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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