so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
