one word: firstdatebathroomanal
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
