Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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