Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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