Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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