Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize