I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
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Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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