Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
