The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
