It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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