he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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