just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
