'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
