So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
