I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Two words: blizzard sex
not ubering you a puppy
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