ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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