Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
