I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
