is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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