In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
this hospital has no fireball
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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