loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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