weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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