I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
