Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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