I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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