so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
