She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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