Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
