It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
