Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
