so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
