just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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