im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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