People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
