Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
