i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
