butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
