Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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