Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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