I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize