If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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