In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
