so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
