Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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