But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
They are going to name an STD after you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
