im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They took my balls.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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