If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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