Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is wine microwaveable?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
