He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I smell stomach acid.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's official drugs can't kill me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
