Everything about him screamed your future.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
