i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
