hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i permit you to call me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
