There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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